New Moon Ritual – Reconnecting with What Matters

In this article, I’ll give you the low down on what authentic living is all about, the difference between fact and truth, and then we’ll dive into the New Moon Ritual (which can be performed anytime of the month when you want to move some stagnant energy and reconnect with what matters).

Let’s start the conversation with a simple question, one that drops us into what this article is all about:

If you knew that there was no wrong way to be in the world, how would you show up differently?

Get ready because you’re about to reconnect with your authentic self!

Being our authentic self doesn’t mean we have ONE authentic expression.

That is absurd.

Instead, it means honoring what is present in us—what we are feeling, thinking, sensing—while bringing in intelligence around it. 

It requires us to feel safe, first and foremost, and to let our armor down. We cannot witness what is going on in our inner world if we are guarded even to ourselves!

Then instead of judging what is happening, we stay curious: What is going on? Why is this coming up right now? 

We can honor authenticity (a.k.a. getting real with what is and accepting the present moment) in our relationship with ourselves and others. 

Fact vs. Truth

Before diving into the new moon ritual, I want to talk about what is real. In Jungian psychology, there is an emphasis on the reality of the psyche. I’ll give you a very in-the-face example to distinguish between fact and truth:

Jane went to sleep mad at her partner, and she had a dream that she killed him. Jane wakes up and thinks, “damn, is this true? Do I really want to kill him?” Of course, she wouldn’t, and she doesn’t really want to. So the dream is not true in the literal sense. But there is something factual about the dream. She really did have this dream. That is a fact.

Toni Morrison describes the difference between truth and fact eloquently in her essay, The Site of Memory. Alongside describing her writing process, she emphasizes that fiction is not making shit up. She says, “I consider that my single gravest responsibility (in spite of that magic) is not to lie.” She further says, “facts can exist without human intelligence, but truth cannot.” So facts are objective; there is no human intelligence in them. Human intelligence requires a level of subjective complexity, of holding contradictory realities at once, of exploring the context in which we find the facts. 

Back to the example:

To get to the truth of the matter about this dream, we start with the image and ask Jane questions like: What was he doing in the dream? What was he saying? How was he being? Have you taken on any of these qualities in your life recently? Why were you mad at your partner before going to sleep? Have you been mad at him for this before? Is there anything in your life that you want to seize to exist? It could not even be her actual partner (our dreams speak in metaphor).

As you can see, the fact that she had a dream that she killed her partner doesn’t mean that she actually wants to kill him. Through suspending our judgment and getting curious about the context in which we find the dream, we may discover a truth.
I say all this to calm your inner critic. When you look at what you’re holding on to in the first part of the new moon ritual, I hope you let down your own internal guard. And if you can’t, that is okay too 😀

Honoring The Messiness of The Work

So there is a reality to what comes up in our psyche (in our dreams, our fantasies, our thoughts, our emotions, our sensations), but it doesn’t have to be true in the literal sense.

A big piece of my work as a Holistic Transformative Coach is honoring and championing the parts of us that have been disowned, hardened, and/or buried.

When we can understand some truth about us that comes from honoring our shadowy parts, we release energy.  Freed energy allows us to show up better in our work, in our relationships, for our creative projects, for our community, etc.

As we stand in our power as women, things will get messy, things will get weird. You are going to stumble on your words; you are going to question if people will accept you; you will turn heads; you will make some people uncomfortable. C’est Le Vie.

All of this is OKAY. Keep going. Show compassion for yourself and others as you honor what is showing up and what is true.

New Moon Ritual

This new moon ritual is an embodiment practice: merging the spirit with matter and the mind with the body. When we involve the body, we create lasting change (The steps below are different than the video. Ultimately, they do the same thing).

1. SHAKE It OFF Ritual

Get ready to shake off whatever is heavy! I see this ritual as a form of detoxication for the soul. It will take roughly 8 mins. 

I. Stand up. Place your hands over your heart and ask yourself, what is coming up right now? What am I carrying that is heavy? What is holding me back from what I want? What is hard right now? Start with just one thought/feeling/sensation/belief at a time. (i.e., I feel like I’m a fraud, or I don’t feel the love I use to for my partner, or I’m grieving a career opportunity, or I have a heavy pressure in my chest). 

If you are able to speak out loud, do that for the full effect. If not, you can say these internally or write them down.

As you speak them, hold onto them, really feel what they are. Where in your body do you feel them?

II. Ask this thought or feeling or sensation, why are you here? Be open to listening without judgement.

III. Ask yourself, what effect does this thought or feeling or sensation have on me? Again, you are just noticing. Do not judge it, especially if the thought or feeling is already a judgment. You don’t want to go down a judgment spiral.

IV. Now that you have some clarity on what is going on here, you are going to let it go. We want to make sure we arn’t denying what is happening when we do this next step. If it doesn’t feel good to let them go yet, don’t. You can let go of them, without denying future feelings. Letting go is not saying something is bad and “shouldn’t” be here.

Say, thank you for coming to me and showing me what you have. I am grateful for your presence. 

Then as you say this following statement, shake the words out of your arms and your legs. Move your body in whatever way feels right. Say: I choose to let you go, so I may experience something different. Imagine you are shaking these out of your body. 

2. INFUSE Your DESIRES Ritual

Now that you have shaken out what you were holding, you are going to explore what it is you want. This ritual will take roughly 5 mins.

I. Sit down in a comfortable position, in a place where you will not be too distracted—ideally a place where you can close your eyes. Wherever you are, feel the support of mother earth below you. Bring your attention to your breathe. Feel the gratitude for the oxygen in the air keeping you alive. Root into your feet, or bum, or both, depending on how you are siting. Feel energy rising from the Earth, entering into your feet or bum, moving through your body, and ascending out of the top of your head. Place your hands on your heart. Connect with your higher power, whatever it is that you would pray to. Say, God, wiser self, source energy, universe, ancestors and angels, please provide guidance for the best interest of myself, others, and mother earth. May all that I previously cleared allow a divine connection to your wisdom.

II. Ask, what do I want to call in in this next cycle in my life? Let yourself be shown this answer, through voices, images, sensations. Sit with it, follow what wants to be followed. Then slowly open your eyes and write this down.

III. Stand up and say, Thank you universe, God, angels, ancestors, Self, higher power, mother nature (whatever you pray to/ belief has power) for granting this so, for it already is so. I am already ____________. I already have _________ in my life. My life already looks like _______. 

IV. Imagine these desires as light surrounding you, then imagine they are seeping into your skin, into your organs, your veins, your blood stream, your cells, and your bones. Feel your body radiating holding your desires.

3. One-on-One Coaching

Sometimes when we have been holding onto things for a while it’s not easy to let go. It’s like ingrained tired tracks, we may want to pave our own path but it’s easy to fall back into what has always been. 

Having a coach keeps you accountable to what you want to change in your life, so you can re-wire your mental, emotional, and behavioral patterns; carving out a different set of tire tracks. 

Sign up for my 4-Month Coaching Program if you’re ready to embody your next-level self here!

Do this ritual around the new moon every month to call in what you want for the next cycle. If you want to learn more about desire, check out my previous post: Why Do You Dare? 

I look forward to seeing more of who you are 🧡
Kristina