I’m now three months into working with three different specialists on a newly discovered condition—a leg length discrepancy— with not much change in my level of pain. How is it that nothing is working? I’m fed up with my body. I just want to feel better. Why can’t you cooperate? I’m doing my stretches along with yoga, and I’m getting massages, chiropractic work, and acupuncture. This was months ago now and I’ve learned a few things through this journey, I’m going to share with you.
My Story Of Loving My Pain
First, I listened to everyone else, following along with yoga instructors, asking my doctors what was wrong. It got to a point when I realized I wasn’t actually listening to my body. I then began to tell my doctors what I thought was going on. I spoke about how I believe the mind and body are interconnected. I realized I was avoiding my needs. I wanted my pain to be gone so badly that I wasn’t present with it. While doing all this work on my body, I was getting about 3-4 hours/wk of coaching and therapy, so the internal work was going on simultaneously.
I remember coming out of a chiropractic appointment thinking, “I am whole and healed.” I realized I was attached to being in pain, and I could see that I really wanted to let it go. I was ready.
The second shift occurred when I changed my yoga practice after this day. I stopped following along with a teacher online. I turned on music and listened to what my body needed. I stayed in positions that wanted more attention. I stretched in ways I hadn’t in a while. I mixed yoga with strength training and with dance. Damn, it began to feel good to be in my body.
After changing how I was present in my body, there was a shift in my mindset. I have a mindset practice that includes reviewing a list of decisions in the morning before I start my day. I record them every once in a while to play back to myself. As I spoke out, “I listen to the wisdom in pain & choose health,” I began to cry. I remembered that there is wisdom in pain. It is here for a reason.
Do You Not Have Time To Feel & Be Present With Pain?
So often, we don’t got time to listen to what we don’t want in our lives.
⚡How often have you ignored a need of yours because it was inconvenient?
⚡How about a need that you thought was childish, asking for too much, or was irrational?
⚡Or what about a desire that you felt would be too hard to fulfill, that you thought was too big to undertake?
We do this all the time with painful, difficult, or inconvenient things in one way or another.
When we love something it is of value to us, and when something is of value to us we spend time with it, time enjoying it and time taking care of it.
— M. Scott Peck
How to Feel Better
Instead of pushing away what we don’t want, could we pull it in with compassionate arms?
Often there is wisdom in our pain. What if it is signaling to you something essential about your wellbeing—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically?
If you want to feel better start loving yourself through spending time with and taking care of yourself. This is self-love and self-care!
love.
love is not the absence of darkness
we cannot know the joy in it
without its darker side
suffering has its beauty
its necessity
could love then be
the acceptance of it all?
turning toward the pain
not in despise but through love
asking, who is upset here?
what do you need?
I’m here for you
we’ll get through this.
Now isn’t this different than the conventional approach that asks, what’s wrong here? When we approach emotional and physical pain looking for a problem, we may not actually hear the wisdom in the symptom. This is why asking, “Who’s upset here” is better.
Is there a part of you that is resisting your health care plan? A part of you that has one foot on the brake? Maybe because they actually have a key piece of information that is essential for moving forward?
If you would like support as you heal your emotional pain (it is intrinsically tied up with physical pain), let’s get on a phone call to see how I can help you. For more information on coaching, read it here.
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