What if I told you-you don’t have to do anything to be cool? or What if I said, “You don’t have to try so hard to be liked?” With so much information out there about “How to” do/become/get_something, you probably would find it hard to believe where you are right now is good enough to be happy with yourself. People are writing everywhere telling us what to do to be happy, have a better life, find a life partner. What if instead, you already are those things you desire? You already have it in you to feel okay?
What if we calm down on the searching
and acknowledge the present
Bring the shaming into the light
and increase the accepting
Drop the conditions
and see the truth?
Article Content
Unconditional Acceptance
The many different systems that run our society—religions, industries, communities, and organizations—all have pervasive structures of beliefs. In some way or another, they have power over us because we feel discontent, inadequate, fearful, lost, etc. I’m not saying all of them are bad. Of course, we have good people living out their values, changing industries, saving lives, creating art, giving hope, etc. But we can’t be in denial of how these systems influence us. Many of them thrive on us thinking and feeling we are not okay. Not just with ourselves but with where we are at in life, and with our possessions and accomplishments.
It has us feeling: We must buy the new technology to feel current. Plan the next step in our career not to fall behind. Since we don’t have a partner right now, there must be something we need to change about ourselves. If we don’t feel happy, so there’s something wrong about us that we need to fix. We feel hollow, so we must search the world for the spiritual.
I call bullshit!
Surrender
Your mind will run with excuses for why you are not okay right now. Partly it is trying to protect you from fear—fear of not getting love, not feeling self-esteem, etc. And in part, it has on repeat, a message you received from someone in your past. It is so easy to believe what is going on inside you is the truth, but it depends how that perceived “truth” got there!
Surrender into letting all those thoughts and feelings dissolve. They may be true; who knows; who cares really? What is important is you are okay now.
There is no real danger where you are right now.
Accept
I’m not saying you should never grow or that there aren’t things about your life that can’t improve. God knows, I’m not perfect, and I always have the itch for growth.
But, you are already imperfectly perfect as you are. You are lovable, fun, smart, caring, and cool now.
Please for the love of everything holy, accept yourself. We so readily accept other people. We tell our partners we love them no matter what. When a friend comes to us feeling shitty, we tell them it’s okay to feel that way. Would it be that hard to do the same for yourself?
Show Up
“I decided that the most subversive, revolutionary thing I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed.” -Anne Lamott
Accepting does not mean we do not change. Actually, quite the opposite happens. When we stop resisting, denying, and looking for answers outside of ourselves, we free up vital energy for our growth.
When we say yes to how we are right now, more things come into our perception that we want to say yes to (instead of things we dislike, showing up).
It is a rebellious act to show up for your life and say here I am and I accept myself. You hold all the cards. You become the decider in if you are okay. Messages that would easily slip into your psyche before, no longer have the power to manipulate you.
You are already cool, radiating with beauty beyond measure. Love is your birthright. You have the power and right to love yourself at this moment! There
NOW.
Stop searching and show up in your life, as is. Because you fucking rock!
Much love,
Kristina