Do you ever feel like you are holding yourself back?
Do you ever feel like for some reason your true self is not good enough, too complicated, or just “too much” to be let out?
Do you ever feel like it is wrong to love everything about yourself?
Do you ever wonder that there is more to you than just your body, your mind?
Do you ever feel like people live shallow lives around you and you are different because you know there is something more?
Sometimes I catch myself in a low dull state, and think to myself, “this isn’t me”. I am so much brighter and louder and sexier and WILD. I want to be real and experience life deeply, but often I feel like there is no place for this.
If you resonate with any of these feelings then I think you will like the series of blog posts I have created: Women Who Dare to Be Wild.
The title comes from my research paper I completed for my final project in my BA program. I wrote an astonishing 38 pages… say what?!?… I attempt to take the good shit out of that paper and find themes I want to discuss here.
So to begin, what the hell am I talking about?
Women Who Dare to Be Wild
Women: female-oriented human beings in society. Or more specifically the feminine energy in every single human being that has been oppressed, stomped on, shamed, belittled, etc.
Who Dare to Be Wild: the person who is courageous enough to be wild and confident enough to take action in accordance with their wild self despite what the culture says they should be.
What the hell is wild? That is explained in this future post.
Introduction
Masculinity is the norm in the ‘west’ (our civilized, industrialized society). Some consequences from this are – over-using and taking more than what is replenished, holding particular logic structuring that keeps rationalization a priority and valuing production and profit over human needs.
I believe we have come a long way in women’s rights and breaking down gender roles that hinder our human fullness. But our culture still deems specific ways of acting and being as better than others. What can be worse is when we internalize all the shoulds and shouldn’ts and believe they are coming from us. When in actuality we pick up beliefs from our parents, our friends, and from media. If we don’t become aware of what the filters we use to question how we live our lives, we can become a prisoner to them.
“The stories we’ve been living by for the past few centuries – the stories of male superiority, of progress and growth and domination – don’t serve women and they certainly don’t serve the planet.” Sharon Blackie
I don’t know about you, but I like to feel like I have some say in my life and I am in the driver’s seat. For this to occur, we need beliefs and stories that ground our power within instead of power over.
I want stories that remind me of who I am at my deepest level, stories that emphasize how I’m intertwined and connected with other living things, and stories that inspire me to live a magical life. This desire is fueling my quest into the wild.
Wild lies within the chaos of the unknown. It has to do with other ways of knowing besides rationalization like feeling, intuition, and instincts. It is the capricious movement of life at many layers of reality: in our psyches (our souls), in our interpersonal relationships, and in our societies.
“The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings.” Audre Lorde
Through understanding the differences between ‘signs’ and ‘symbols’ and understanding archetypes that we hold within us we can start to grasp the depth of ourselves. Our bodies begin to feel like home. We begin to appreciate our chaotic emotions. And we learn how powerful we are as a human being.
So earlier I said the wild lies within the unknown, but then I said it has to do with other ways of knowing like feelings, intuition, and instincts. This may sound contradicting, but once you begin to understand that the act of knowing, or the belief that we know this ‘sign’ or ‘symbol’ (ex. oh this is fear I am feeling or the word ‘wild’ that keeps coming into my awareness means I need to get into nature) is not the actual chaoticness of what is occuring, you begin to really grasp how you can not possibly know the wild.
A poem I wrote before even stumbling upon the material and coming up with the idea for this research:
How Dare You
Walking in straight lines, we eradicated the wildness.
Something deep has been forgotten, our wildness.
Shhh, eyes burning holes through her, hearts beating faster.
Her voice is denied, everyone is scared of wildness.
Crying, kicking, screaming – it is locked behind bars of shame,
too much for worthiness lays wildness.
Concealed skin, edges sanded off, warped self, she hides behind
a mask, denying the call – wildness.
Stretching behind a desk to pass the time; It is freaking out inside,
“Please express me,” said Wildness.
There is a silent agreement; this is what we shall do.
Gentle kisses late at night, all while craving steamy wildness.
Bouncing around, ricocheting off walls, energy gradually building.
Will it explode? Why not let it be? – freeing wildness.
Middle finger in the air, they say, “How can you dare?”
I say, “I am allowing wildness!”
By no means are these posts inclusive of the topics I discuss or the information I give an exact definition. Allow some fluidity and please question what I say. Run it through your mind, body, heart, and spirit and ask if it rings true to you.
Check out the other post in this series.
-Kristina